Vanity

Trudeau channels the Griswolds

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Remember Chevy Chase in European Vacation attempting to be savvy, cool and fashionable by dressing like the Italians but it going so horribly wrong?  Well Canadian PM Justin Trudeau has tried to instill his sense of being culturally in touch by dressing his family as Indians. Even the Indians think it’s a bit much. Perhaps Indian PM Modi should return the favour and dress like a lumberjack provided he can get his axe through customs on his next visit to Canada. Typical patronizing liberal trying to show us all his grasp on diversity and cultural appropriation. When Trudeau swings through Japan will he wear a samurai outfit resplendent with a chonmage top knot? What an embarrassment!

We thought the cardboard cut outs of himself distributed to Canadian embassies was a joke. This ratchets it multiple levels. Can’t wait for Candice Bergen to shred him over his Indian clothing choices in coming sessions of Canadian parliament.

AfD is 2nd most popular party in latest Bild poll

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The left leaning Bild newspaper published a poll showing the anti-immigrant AfD as the second most popular party in Germany with 16% (+2) The socialist SPD polled an awful 15.5% (-5), it’s worst post war performance. The Greens also polled well.

Yet another country growing tired of politicians from incumbent major parties who are failing to deliver to their constituents.

Regardless of what one’s views are on Merkel’s misguided altruism, it seems fewer people support it at home. Call it racist, bigoted it worse but the fact more people are prepared to back the party that answers their sense of frustration speaks volumes of underlying mood. Either that or the CDU is doing a terrible job selling its message. What does one expect when the media and police are muzzled?

Across the border Poland and Hungary are linking hands in a sign of solidarity to reject the EU’s forced migration quotas. On April 8 Hungarians vote on whether they want Orban’s Fidesz party to stay in power. It looks a formality. The question is by what margin? When 98.4% who voted in the Hungarian referendum several years back to reject forced migration, this seems an election issue which opposition parties stand no chance of getting up if they support it.

Twitter – why Stephen Fry quit

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Stephen Fry quit Twitter two years ago and so eloquently explained why:

What fun twitter was in the early days, a secret bathing-pool in a magical glade in an enchanted forest. It was glorious ‘to turn as swimmers into cleanness leaping.’ We frolicked and water-bombed and sometimes, in the moonlight, skinny-dipped. We chattered and laughed and put the world to rights and shared thoughts sacred, silly and profane. But now the pool is stagnant. It is frothy with scum, clogged with weeds and littered with broken glass, sharp rocks and slimy rubbish. If you don’t watch yourself, with every move you’ll end up being gashed, broken, bruised or contused … The fun is over…

…To leave that metaphor, let us grieve at what Twitter has become. A stalking ground for the sanctimoniously self-righteous who love to second-guess, to leap to conclusions and be offended – worse, to be offended on behalf of others they do not even know. It’s as nasty and unwholesome a characteristic as can be imagined. It doesn’t matter whether they think they’re defending women, men, transgender people, Muslims, humanists … the ghastliness is absolutely the same. It makes sensible people want to take an absolutely opposite point of view.

PM Turnbull enforces sex ban between ministers and staff

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Talk about closing the gate after the horse has bolted. How out of touch can PM Turnbull be to think imposing a ban on consenting adults will achieve anything much less stop the rot in the polls? As CM wrote yesterday, the citizens of Australia would gladly trade off randy politicians if they applied the same energy they  do ‘on the job’ on the job! People want action on policy rather than the headmaster telling naughty schoolboys how to behave! What a farce. Voters are more angry at being taken for mugs by giving mistresses $200,000 taxpayer funded jobs rather than dismay at sexual antics inside parliament corridors.

Once again Turnbull shows complete error in judgment. Instead of showing a firm hand he only shows himself ever more impotent (no pun intended).

Valentine’s Day according to Google Trends

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Gender stereotypes? Google Trends just threw a spanner in the works in a study on Valentine’s Day gift searches for a loved one. It seeems like women are far more proactive and engaged in searching for gift ideas than their boyfriends appear to be. What could explain it?

Could it be that men simply are too hard wired/unimaginative? Many women could attest to their men sticking with boring flowers, chocolates, and dinner reservations through experience or a sense of duty.

Tales out of school. At my old firm I used to buy 120 individually wrapped cakes for my female clients on Valentine’s Day and spend all morning delivering them personally. Never did I receive more sincere thank you’s for thinking more creatively than dropping off boring chocolates. So a note to the lazy men out there – women seem more likely to praise the “effort” over the “result” – hopefully ladies can confirm this so we can get “equality” back into Valentine’s search engines.

Could it be that males are harder to shop for causing women to have to search harder? Could it be that women are kinder and more thoughtful souls than men?

Most women get that men probably don’t want flowers or chocolates, but what will he like? Season tickets to watch his favourite team? A sports magazine? Golf balls (dangerous territory if he’s a keen golfer), motorcycle parts (extremely high risk)? A tie? Socks? iPhone goods? Underwear? Don’t laugh. Studies show that women are behind 80% of the purchases of men’s undies. Indeed it may well be that men are pickier (or lazier) about gifts causing women to search 2-3x more.

If we look at the above chart it seems that women searching for gifts for their boyfriends keeps making higher highs as the deadline approaches. Men too albeit at a flatter trajectory.

Maybe the devil in the data is what Google could really do for men and women. Instead of judging a partner’s devotion by the scale of money dished out on such a grossly commercial day, perhaps Google could let one know how much they meant to their significant other by the timeline on when the Valentine’s Day search began and to avoid gaming the system informing hours spent online during the process.

There are millions of factors which trigger Valentine’s decisions but isn’t that what diversity is all about – freedom of choice.

The day Elon Musk gets asked by…

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Elon Musk said in the FY2017 conference call today: “Super Bullish…What I find sort of interesting is that our competitors – the car industry thinks they’re really good at manufacturing. And actually they are quite good at manufacturing, but they just don’t realize just how much potential there is for improvement. It’s way more than they think…I went through this math I think on a prior earnings call, but like it sounds like some of the fastest car factories produce a car maybe every 25 seconds. That sounds fast. But if you think of a 5-meter long car, including gap, and a 4.5 meter car with a half meter gap or something, that’s only 0.2 meters per second. Like grandma with a walker can exceed the speed of the fastest production line we’re in, so really no that fast. Walking speed is one meter per second, so five times faster than the fastest production line on earth.”

Listening to commentary like this just shows how cavalier the processes at Tesla are. The day Tesla gets called in by other kings of industry for lessons on production techniques the comment will hold water.

Toyota, which has coined almost every manufacturing effficiency jargon over 50 years, was invited by Porsche to fix its problems in the 90s. Several years ago Toyota was called in to help Lockheed Martin streamline production of the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter because of the massive cost overruns. The day Boeing calls up Elon Musk for tips on how to belt out more 787s two slices of humble pie will be consumed immediately.

Seriously one has to question how this board can believe it has the potential to be worth more than all the other volume and luxury auto majors combined when they make such fictitious claims. Sounds like Sakamoto from Elpida promising endless dreams. Elpida went belly up because it failed to deliver. .

Tale of the gold coin chocolate & a warning for Tesla Disciples

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It hadn’t really hit until going back to read the conditions of Musk’s new executive compensation package but the first thing that struck me was the risk of the old adage of paying too much attention to the share price. The collection of all 12 tranches for CEO Elon Musk only kicks in when his company hits $650bn in market cap. The first thing to pop in the head was that of Japanese mobile phone retailer Hikari Tsushin back during the tech bubble. The rather eccentric CEO Yasumitsu Shigeta had gold coin chocolates made embossed with “Hikari Tsushin: Target Market Cap Y100 trillion.” One could only conclude he believed in his own BS.

It was at that moment where the only thing that crossed the mind was ‘this spells trouble’. There were magazines like Forbes touting how Shigeta was one of the richest men in the world and analysts fell hook, line and sinker for this unrealistic dream forecasting he’d be #1 before long. The only rational conclusion for the Contrarian Marketplace was to tell them that “bet he won’t be in the top 100 next year.”  Low and behold the tech bubble collapsed and Hikari Tsushin – that believed it was worth 2x the market cap of then highest valued corporation in the world, General Electric – fell over 95%.

While Musk may not yet have printed target market cap $650bn gold coin chocolates, what the incentives are saying to the market is that his company needs to be worth more than Daimler, BMW, VW, GM, Ford, Toyota, Nissan, Honda, Renault, Fiat-Chrysler Ferrari and Porsche combined. Just read that last sentence again. Do investors honestly believe that Tesla which consistently misses and is going up against companies that have been in the game for decades, seen brutal cycles, invest multiples more in technology and forgotten more than they remembered will somehow all become slaves to a company which has no technological advantages whatsoever?

Once again, this compensation package screams of gold coin chocolates in mentality. Instead of running the business and letting the share price do the talking, the mindset is focused on launching convertibles into space and distracting investors from increasingly dreadful financial results which eventually must come full circle if the results continue to miss. Broader Tesla report here.