Humour

If only PM Turnbull didn’t stick to his day job either

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Australian PM Malcolm Turnbull thought his speech mocking President Trump at the Mid Winter Ball in Canberra wouldn’t be seen by outsiders despite this day and age where cameras are everywhere and leaks are almost a fact of life. In a desperate attempt to sound funny, Turnbull torched the man he fawned over at the White House. Turnbull  has such poor judgement much less any place in comedy. It’s bad enough that journalism plunges new lows on a daily basis but worse when an elected official decides to rip a close ally in this fashion.

The irony of his speech is that his poll numbers are dreadful.

Now Kathy Griffin is the helpless victim

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What a blithering idiot. If she couldn’t see that her stunt was potentially career ending then it is hard to have sympathy. Did she not weigh up her decision in the days and weeks it would have taken to prepare the prop? Did she not seek third party advice? Now she’s playing the victim card. How pathetic. She even hired a lawyer to defend her from attacks from the Trump family. I would imagine most sane families would hound you if you held a mock decapitation of the head of the family. Let’s see if she is crowd funded to keep her out of self inflicted poverty.

The likes of Jim Carey came out to say that comedy is all about crossing lines. To a point he is right but Griffin’s stunt at no point had a comic element to it. This was a venomous, targeted and mal-intended event to make a point of her dislike for her democratically elected leader. Amazing how she can go on TV as a victim. The reason she has been fired is that the networks is they don’t think she’ll be a drawcard. Given the low cost of online platforms maybe she can set up her own pay-per-view comedy channel and see how popular she really is. Sorry Kathy, you own this.

Sir Roger Moore passes away

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Sir Roger Moore was the James Bond I grew up with as a kid. Where Sean Connery was suave, Moore was typecast as the toff deviant Casanova who always met up with Jaws. Sir Roger’s Bond films seemed more comedy than action. I was such a petrol head even then that I think I wore out the magnetic tape listening to Moore drive a stolen Alfa Romeo GTV6 to the US Air Force base in Octopussy. Who could forget him saying to the UK Minister of Defence ‘just keeping the British end up‘ as he was caught cavorting with Triple X in Stromberg’s escape pod when it landed on the back of a navy ship. Or ‘attempting re-entry’ in Moonraker or being ‘taken care of personally’ by MayDay (Grace Jones) in A View to a Kill. He made the safari suit look cool.

After Moore followed Timothy Dalton who was more of a wound up type. The kind of person that would tailgate you on a highway. Then came the dapper Brosnan and then the mysterious tough guy, Daniel Craig, we have today. Moore certainly typified the times. In a sense he was the least politically correct of the Bonds which is perhaps why he was one of my favourites, It would be nice to think the world would get off its hypersensitive victim culture and laugh at itself much like rolling the eyes at Moore’s corny one liners. Thank you for the memories Sir Roger.

Why Alan Joyce didn’t take one for the team

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While getting smacked in the face with a pie was uncalled for, the decision by Qantas CEO Alan Joyce to press charges against the perpetrator is over the top and actually harms the cause he chooses to enslave his own employees by. Had he chosen to laugh at it and make light of the situation he would have not only taken the moral high ground but showed he was above it. In the process show that those for it aren’t so brittle and fragile. Still Joyce couldn’t resist the opportunity to press charges when the only damage was done to his tailor’s heart! Jeremy Clarkson showed the right way how to deal with being pied. He could have turned it to a massive advantage which is now an own goal.

I’ve written before that I think his use of Qantas as a way to publicize marriage equality is dead wrong. One of his stunts was to get staff to wear ‘acceptance’ rings and distribute them to passengers as a way to promote it. I said it was wrong. I suppose were someone to politely decline to wear one they’d undoubtedly be branded homophobic, bigoted and summarily ostracized for such expressing such views. That they may indeed support gay marriage but not feel it important enough in their list of priorities (mortgages, job security, kid’s school, health etc) to do more. That is a conscious choice. Fail to wear the ring and perhaps your career takes a turn for the worse all because you don’t want to be forced to outwardly express your political views. Yet if you feel forced to wear one that makes you a slave.

Corporations should keep their political views to themselves. If Alan Joyce wants to go on a personally crusade to fight for the cause he can do it on his own time not on the shareholders clock. If CEOs feel so passionately about politics maybe they should come down from their multi-million dollar ivory towers and run for office for a fraction of the pay. Now that IS the best way to show you truly back the cause (of course assuming people would vote you into office).

Here I was thinking the Irish had a sense of hunour? In the case Mr Joyce you didn’t take one for the team! What a place he could have shown it – a speech on why leadership matters.

One’s idea of perfection is another’s failure

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Had an oil service done on my motorbike yesterday. They undercharged me 2-yen by mistake. As the receipt they wrote was for 2-yen more they will post a new receipt for 120-yen postage with a reply paid envelope for another 120-yen. Such is the perfectionist culture they’ll suck up 120x the cost (excluding Labour and stationery) to cover a 2-yen mistake. In the West we’d just chip in 2-yen of our own and put it to bed. Not a criticism but an observation of how this culture is so different. How often the West forgets culture when analyzing Japan.

The golden rule of customer service

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Customer service! What is it? How well do we know our customers? In my case it is a Mr Kamimura, a diligent garçon at Aux Bacchanales in Kioi-cho, Tokyo. No matter what mood you’re in he has an innate ability to make you forget and laugh at yourself. In my case today new shoes are causing blisters. He saw me with bandaids at hand. Sensing what was wrong he scribed “blister” in my latte. A small thing perhaps but isn’t it amazing how something so simple, not discovered in any manual can keep a customer coming. The coffee is pretty good too so it’s a win-win. I’m fascinated how in today’s smartphone gazing culture how as humans were actually missing out what really matters.

What happened to never speak ill of the dead?

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I watched ABC’s #QandA last night and thought it plunged new lows in a lack of common sense. If Zaky Mallah’s ‘accidental’ appearance wasn’t bad enough they used a taxpayer funded platform to publicly hurl insults at politically incorrect cartoonist Bill Leak who died earlier in the week. Apart from the crowd’s poor behaviour and grammar, some of the panelists even took the opportunity to lock in their moral outrage credentials. It was tacky, unnecessary and utterly disrespectful to Leak’s family. Not even the death of a highly awarded artist escapes the ABCs social justice warrior elite.

Isn’t everyone taught to “not speak ill of the dead”?