Regulating cow farts


You have to wonder at the genius of law makers.  From tomorrow cows in California will be subject to a flatulence tax in an aim to cut methane emissions 40% by 2030. All that farting is creating untold global warming. If only we’d taught man 5,000 years ago the dangers of animal husbandry. His reckless (although admitted lack of awareness) has added to warming the planet.

First question. Do some cows fart more than others? If I picked a random bunch of my friends I’m sure the statistical range (no pun intended) of their emissions would be insignificant. Surely cows too. We run a cow farm in Australia and when we do weigh ins, there is a difference of 100s of kg between animals. Surely the belching and farting would be skewed by that. Will farmers be asked to weigh cattle in order to assess potential methane calculations?

This is the same madness displayed by those that pay carbon offsets on planes. Those calculations are so inaccurate because so much would depend on passenger numbers, head/tail winds, take off queue length, holding patterns, aircraft type,airline maintenance etc. There is no standard formula yet those that pay it get to ‘feel good’ about saving the planet when their actions are hypocritical. The flight partially takes off because you look to fly on it. If you want to stop emissions then don’t fly and while you’re at it try to keep others from getting on board so you can put the airline out of business. Ah yes, you have a job and must put food on the table so your sense of self preservation is far higher than saving the planet. Perhaps they should weigh passengers instead so they can proportionately pay for carbon offset.

Supposedly experts don’t know how they’re going to trap methane. $50mn of the $900mn designated for climate action in California will be dedicated to flatulence reduction.

Here is a simple idea. If people are truly worried after a massive ad blitz on the dangers of cow methane they’ll stop buying dairy and beef and we’ll get a rapid correction in methane emissions as farmers go out of business. If it fails well you’ll work out as lawmakers that the public think you are a full of bullshit.

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